I am a married woman in her 30s... how awful does that sound - ok, how about... I am a sarcastic 32 year old married woman with a bun in the oven. I have a fantastic dog who has an evil pet cat. My husband and I bought a house 2 years ago and have been doing major renovations since then.

Monday, October 24, 2005


I've just booked my Christmas flight. Oh what have I done? J convinced me to go up to see my folks a week early to give them more time with their grandchild. I acquiesced. I think they all caught me on a good day and I'll live to regret this later. Now I'm going up there on the 10th of December - THE 10th!!! Until the 26th. That's 16 whole days with my parents. I just tired of them after the 3 weeks they were here and now I go and book another 16 days with them. I must be insane. J is coming up for just a week before christmas and then we'll fly back together on the 26th. His parents will be here when we get back so it'll be a LOT of family crap until January 7th or so when his folks leave. oh boy, it never ends. I guess we'll skip putting up the christmas tree this year as I'll be gone from the 10th to the 26th and J would never bother to put it up while I'm away. Less crap to put away after Christmas then.

I anticipate there being a bucketload of toys and crap for Trevor and we have no room for it all anyway. I wondered about telling J's family that Trevor doesn't need any presents this Christmas as he doesn't know one day from the next anyway. I've already told my parents that we don't want "stuff" this year - so movie tickets or things that we can use are ok, but no giant loads of crap to cart around or store. J's parents (or more, his sister) will never abide to this rule, but I think I might float it out there. My biggest fear is all that plastic crap that is out there for kids.. WE DON'T WANT IT. People seem to think that we can't afford it and that's why we don't have it, NOPE, we can afford it, but we DON'T WANT IT. Just to be clear.

Well that's my rant...

Worn down

Ok, so due to lack of sleep my body is breaking down. I thought it couldn't get worse, but yes, oh yes, it does. I have had the yeast infection - which, for the record, may be back. And I STILL have the hemorrhoid. I've now been to the pharmacist to tell my sordid tale and get drugs - I was prepared to get Preparation H but nooo, apparently all the rage is Anusol Plus. GOd the embarrassment - ANUSOL. Not only that, but I asked the pharmacist if it's ok to use since I'm breastfeeding and she said yes, since it's topical. I then said - uh, topical...I'm pretty sure the hemorrhoid is inside... She then got out the "applicator" to show me how to shove it up my ass and squeeze.... CHARMING. Oh god how i've fallen... now I'm squeezing tubes of stuff up my ass!!! So ok, to recap - I have yeast, I have hemorrhoids, and zits... oh the zits. My complection is now rivaling a 15 year old's. You think THAT's bad... well this past week I have also been battling a cold sore. AND I can't take any of the cold sore stuff, so I did a quickie internet search when I felt the tingle and I read that nail polish remover does the trick... and so it does! I have felt that tingle a few times and each time I dab on a bit of nail polish remover and so far, no cold sore... here's hoping it stays like that.

Monday, October 17, 2005

The woo-hoo afterward

No one mentions anything about preparing for the pain of the woo-hoo AFTER the birth. I never thought about that at all.

Well, now I do...

I had a few stitches for some "minor" tearing. It felt pretty bad for "minor" tearing.
For the first week I used the spray bottle every time I had to pee - and Oh was I afraid to poo... Then I got a yeast infection -then I also got a hemorhoid (LOVELY)... So there was itch and pain and still the fear of pooing. Worse and worse.

It's been a month now and FINALLY I've managed to get rid of the yeast infection, but the hemmy is still there. And I am still deathly afraid to poo. Oh god does it hurt. Feels like you are splitting open your bum hole every time. I am using Tucks - some sort of wipes, but it doesn't seem to be making it go away. Any advice would be welcomed.


I'll gloss over this as it's old news now but my mum arrived 2 days after Trevor was out and stayed 3 1/2 weeks. My dad and J's parents (who are in their 80s) arrived on the 28th. It was stressful to have all the family here and I don't recommend having anyone stay that long ever. J's parents didn't leave until Oct 11th and they are just a lot older now than they used to be so it was a lot to have them here. We were having to look after them as opposed to them looking after me. My mum was a big help but there was sometimes it was a lot to deal with.

There is so much more I could say about the visitors but I'll just move past all that turmoil... My parents call every day still - I guess they are still pretty excited about little T.

The birth

Soooo sorry I've been truant... I've been busy. Turns out that nesting thing really means something as I had our baby on September the 14th... Here's the birth story.

So I was due on Sept. 15th and had already been off work for a couple of weeks. I had finished all the stuff I wanted to do and had made muffins and cookies and was just eating up a storm. I was pretty much ready to just have him out by then.

On the 13th at 7:30 am I had some bloody show which was pretty charming really… now I know what that means… I called the doula, Jennifer, and she told me to keep her posted. Nothing much was happening so I went out for lunch as I had planned. I was having some mostly painless contractions but they were very sporadic. They did freak out the people I lunched with though. I came home and napped most of the afternoon just in case I went into labour soon. It was good to have these little warning signs so J had some warning – he went in to work that night to wrap some stuff up in case the whole thing went down soon. I talked to Jennifer at 9pm and told her nothing was happening and that I’d call her sometime tomorrow and let her know what was going on. We went to bed early and then by 10:30 pm I started having contractions. J was sleeping so I didn’t wake him up and freak him out. They were every 8 minutes from the beginning and moved to 2 minutes apart if I lay on my right side so I stayed on my left. They weren’t very strong but they weren’t Braxton Hicks. I did try to sleep for 5 minutes between them but it was a long night. At 1am or so J woke up and had a bit of a freak out scrambling to get his watch to start timing the contractions. I told him they weren’t yet really bad so it wouldn’t happen soon. I told J to sleep some more as I’d need him later and I had napped the afternoon before in preparation for this. It was a long night and I was just waiting for 5:30 am as that was the time I had in my head to wait until calling Jennifer. J was awake with me for most of the night anyway and the contractions got stronger and I lay in bed trying to deal with them. I was very happy to see 5:30 am and we called Jennifer and asked her to come over. We showered and got our stuff ready for the hospital.

Jennifer arrived and was a huge help for the more intense contractions I was having by then. I was feeling pretty nauseas with each contraction. Jennifer had some sort of aromatherapy oil that was lavender and mint and it instantly took the nausea away. The funny part was that when the contractions were getting stronger I actually considered holding ice cubes – just to focus on something else! We laughed about that – not really a viable option, but a fun idea at the time. Eventually I threw up and had a lot more show and the contractions were a lot stronger.. Jennifer said I was in transition now and we headed over to the hospital. We were in the assessment area at about 9am and they checked me and I was 3 cm dialated. They wanted me to go and walk around for an hour and come back. We walked around the grounds of the hospital while I had a contraction every few minutes or so. I could tell that the baby’s head was moving down and by the time the hour was up I was 8 cm dialated. We were waiting for a room and I couldn’t help it and started to push. Eventually they had a room for us – in the cedar wing!!! They wheeled me up and I hopped straight into bed and got ready to push. I had hoped for the shower and all that, but it was wayyy too late for that. After about 50 minutes of pushing – which, for the record, wasn’t that bad, Trevor was born. He was a 10 on the apgar scale and was 8 lbs 1 oz. My doctor was great and everyone in the room was so calm the whole time that it made it not as scary as I thought it might be. Trevor was placed on my chest right away and J was even tearing up – which is unlike him. It was a magnificent moment for us. Right after Trevor was out I apparently said “That was fantastic, I feel great!” Granted, I was high on all the endorphins… I had some minor tearing so I was stitched while J and I looked at our new baby. Trevor was born at 2:43pm so we had lots of time to call people, shower and settle in before visiting hours. We had a few people come to see us in the hospital and then we tried to sleep. I have to admit that as tired as I was, I stared at Trevor for much of the night, in awe that he was inside me just a few hours before. We left the hospital the next day as soon as we could and went home to settle in.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Get this "show" on the road...

39 weeks + 5 days

OK so last night I got up to pee at 4:30 (for the second time that night) and I just couldn't get back to sleep after that. I didn't want to get up and read or watch tv as it might prolong the whole awake thing. So I lay there thinking of what I should do today. Oddly I had this desire to organize the stuff laying about on the table and in the living room and was all gung ho to MOP THE FLOORS!!! What the hell is that about? Hello nesting? (Although, for the record, I hate that word nearly as much as I hate the phrase "bear down"). I was having a lot of braxton hicks as I lay there - more than usual and they were just more than they usually are - in intensity and frequency. I remember thinking that something could be happening. So after about an hour or so of lying there I eventually dozed off. I got up at about 7:15 and J was nearly ready for work. I asked him what his day looked like and he said lots of meetings, very busy. He was all spiffed out in his pinstriped suit so it looks like he has high powered meetings today. I told him I was having lots of braxton hicks last night - but that I didn't expect anything to happen today. He looked mildly alarmed and said that his cel phone was with him. I went to the bathroom and without getting toooo terribly in depth about it - I now know what the "bloody show" looks like. J was about to leave when I told him I had the "bloody show"... (sounds horrifying - really it's only pink tinged mucus). The poor kid looked stricken. I actually laughed and said "oh look how stressed I've just made you. It's ok, it's normal, and I'll just let the doula know". He left for work looking less than at ease. I, on the other hand, felt quite ok about the whole thing. I think it means that labour may actually start within 24 - 48 hours. I showered, walked the dog (during which there were more braxton hicks) and have had more "show" since then. I've cleaned the bathroom (in another mad nesting thing, I guess) and am now preparing to go out for lunch. J has already checked in once and the doula said to call her every couple of hours. The braxton hicks are a bit stronger but still not painful but I do somehow expect something to be happening by tonight. Scary thought. I have NOT called my mother as I don't want her getting into a panic - she said she'd call me tonight and there will be no getting out of telling her if I'm actually having labour pains by then. We'll play it by ear. I have cancelled going to aquasize tonight but still plan on going to my lunch with Larry -but let's be honest - I will be bringing some sort of sweater I can wrap around my waist if my water breaks while I'm out. Ye-ouch - that last braxton hick wasn't super pleasant... they had better hold off until I get my movies back to Blockbuster, fill the car with gas, get money from the machine, and have my lunch out. I should get dressed I guess. I'll keep you posted.

Sort of exciting really - who ever thought I'd get excited about the thought of passing a baby's head out my woo-hoo....

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Hork a loogie

Ok, this could be the most disgusting post EVER. You've been warned. On Thursday I "passed" a gigantic ball of mucus... It was absolutely disgusting. We are talking a gelatinous mass -like a giant frog egg about the size of a large marble (not a regular sized marble - the BIG ones), ok, how about the size of a 25 cent gumball from those machines. THAT is what I was dealing with. I nearly heaved looking at the toilet paper while sitting on the toilet. J is lucky he was at work, or he might have been forced to look at it. I told my doctor about it - just as an aside - in the what's new this week portion of our visit and she laughed good and hard at my description of it. She said "what? and you didn't save it and bring it in for me to see?". EWWW. I guess lots of patients are alarmed by this sort of thing and actually bring these things in to get clarification on what it is. EWWW, another reason I would never want to be a doctor. Don't get me wrong - I too was alarmed by it - but it wasn't alltogether unexpected - um, hello mucus plug section. Hucka, hucka... These are the type of things that no one tells you about pregnancy - well let me be the first to say - this last few weeks have been an eye-opener as to what is coming out of my body. And frankly, I'm expecting worse yet to come. Don't worry, I'll be sure to tell you all about it too. I can tell that you are waiting with baited breath...

Phallic tomatoes

We have grown a great batch of tomatoes in the garden this year...

I sure do like the look of this one... Does it make you horny baby?

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Not ready yet...

38 weeks +5 days

So I hear about those women who are so "done" with being pregnant and can't wait for the baby to come. I am not one of those women. I love being prego, and better yet, I LOVE not working and having very little to do in the day. I've managed to get most of the stuff done that I wanted to before the baby comes so if he did come now, technically we are ready (not mentally though). I have to pick up the car later today (it's getting cleaned so the dog hair will be out and J can drive it to work now, and I'll take the van). Oh, and I should make a hair appointment. Other than that, I would like to make some newborn diapers and also a japanese lamp - the boxy kind with the rice paper. I might start that on Thursday. Oh, I also wanted to rent and watch the 2nd and 3rd, and maybe 4th season of 6 Feet Under. OK, so I still have stuff I want to do - but it's all superficial - if it doens't happen, it's ok. I am enjoying telling grocery clerks or whoever asks when I'm due - that "anyday" it could happen. Just to make them worry that I might have my water break right here in your store and you'll have to clean that up - ewww. I had a lovely walk today after dropping off the car and I even picked up dinner ingredients - pork tenderloin - I KNOW - I'm getting all domestic. I was all gung ho about it earlier but as it gets closer to dinner time I'm not as enthusiastic about making dinner anymore, unfortunately. Ah well, suck it up lady.

Well I'm going to make a hair appointment for tomorrow. FYI - TV is shit in the daytime.

Other readers?

I just had a comment from someone I don't know! I can't really believe there are people out there that read this, that aren't the 3 people that I gave the site address to. Weird. Perhaps this will push me to update more often - because I know how annoying it is to follow a blog and have them leave you hanging for days (weeks) on end...

Saturday, September 03, 2005


So I spent thursday morning and then friday afternoon at the hospital. Not a fan. I especially hate the heart monitor for the baby - it's stressful when the beeping slows. I thought I was leaking fluid (which I thought was amniotic fluid) at a slow trickle for the past oh - 5 days on Thursday and my doula said it might be wise to go to the dr and see what they say. The dr's office said to go to the hospital and get checked out. J and I went there and waited for hours and then they wanted to do an internal swab and the GBS test (which I had previously declined)... After speaking to the dr and finding out that even if they did the internal exam and then finding out I WAS leaking fluid, they'd just send me home anyway - we declined the test and pretty much went home after 2 1/2 hours wasted there. I was told to go back and talk to the dr in the office. We went the next day (friday morning) and she was fabulous - she explained all the pros and cons and suggested we go back and have the test (an internal swab to see if my water had indeed broken) and consider the GBS IF that came back positive. Since my own dr. was on call at the hospital that day, we went back to get the test done. I've glossed over this whole fiasco as it was quite a stressful long and drawn out process over 2 days and I'm finished with thinking about it. In the end we found out that no, I am not leaking amniotic fluid - are you ready for this? - it's MUCUS... ewwww, likely some of the mucus plug which sort of disolves. Quite disgusting really - but at least I can go swimming again and also not worry about infection for the baby. I am cervix is not close to ready for the birth so I know that I have a few days at least. The only good part of this whole thing is that it makes me realize that I really have to finish packing my bag and that I do NOT want to go to the hospital a second before I really need to be there - they hook you up to a bunch of machines as a matter of course and then you are pretty much confined to a bed. I certainly do not want to labour that way and plan on staying home as long as possible.

I also have a bunch of things I want to get done before the baby comes and I'm just not ready for him yet. I need to get the car cleaned, pay some bills, get a haircut etc... so much to do and somehow suddenly it seems like so little time. J thinks that this is his last weekend before he's a father but I think it'll be at least 2 weeks - well I did but today the baby's been moving down and I've had a few lower pains that I didn't have before - so who knows... I still sort of think that it'll happen on the 18th - the full moon (3 days after my technical due date). We'll see what happens.

Still feeling really good, still fairly mobile and don't yet waddle. I am loving the quitting work part and not having anything that I HAVE to get done in a day. J is fabulous right now too - not saying anything if I tell him that all I've done all day is watched tv and napped. AND I love it when he tells me that I SHOULD go to Dairy Queen because clearly the baby wants a blizzard - he's the best sometimes.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Last full day of work

36 weeks + 1 day

There is a full moon tonight... here's hoping I don't go into labour early and wait for the next full moon...

So today is the last full day of work for me for A YEAR!!! Next week I am working half days to ensure the new chick is up to speed. At first I was pretty excited about nearly being finished work - and don't get me wrong, I still am... but now... I've realized that it means I am THAT much closer to actually having to give birth and then deal with the kid afterward. Hmmm... not sure I'm ready for that yet.

Suddenly the thought of childbirth is pretty frightening. I do go in waves - one day I'll think - I CAN DO IT... and then the next day it's like - Holy Shit, sometimes a big poo hurts and I can't do that times about 100 - out of my woo-hoo. I'm not looking forward to that "ripped in half" feeling that women who have gone through it take great pleasure in telling me about.

We do have a great doula and I'm just hoping that with her and J's help I can get through it as tolerably as possible. It does seem imminent now.

I am trying to get some things to do after I leave work so I'm not just waiting for the first contraction. I plan on reading the new Harry Potter book, watching a few seasons of 6 Feet Under, cleaning the house, tidying the baby's side of our bedroom (currently filled with baby stuff in bags and boxes), making diapers, napping, baking maybe?, freezing some food, and getting a haircut. I'm going to start with the haircut.

Also this weekend I think J wants to stain the deck - if we don't get to it, or get it finished I thought I might do that next week in the afternoons that I have off. That would be productive. We also have to stain part of the fence, and varnish a different part so there is plenty to do before the end of this summer (and the baby arrives).

I might just loaf... we'll see how it goes. I might buy a plastic pool for our backyard and just lie whale-like in it all day (if the weather stays this hot)... it's always an option.

I think I might be a bit bored and go a bit stir-crazy by myself all day - I think I'll miss some of the people at work (none of whom I actually work with though)... Who will I talk to? J is going to get some sort of grilling every time he comes home "how was your day?, what happened? who did you talk to? how are they all? what are your plans for this evening?" oh I fear I'll be relentless and he'll just be tired from working all day. I'll try to keep that to a minimum.

Lots of fears, so little time...