I am a married woman in her 30s... how awful does that sound - ok, how about... I am a sarcastic 32 year old married woman with a bun in the oven. I have a fantastic dog who has an evil pet cat. My husband and I bought a house 2 years ago and have been doing major renovations since then.

Friday, December 24, 2004

Have a very merry christmas

I have read some sad and depressing things in the news and on blogs and it just makes me feel lucky to have all I have. My friends and family are all well and happy and I hope that everyone has a good christmas and doesn't feel the uncontrollable need to push their sister-in-law down the stairs. (must remember that)

I'm flying up north tonight so spend Christmas with the parental units... Sadly, for the first time in years there is no snow up there. Northern BC is surprisingly green and warm for this time of year. Apparently mother nature is not aware that much of the reason I want to go up north is specifically FOR the snow. I've packed my boots and snowpants and likely will never wear them this year. CRAP. Here's hoping...

My dog is already up north (2 days early) as the airline I'm flying on changed their flying animals during christmas policy (without letting me know)... blah blah blah. It's a long and angry story that I'm tired of ranting about but to make a long story short - my mother is "the shit" (in a good way) and knew someone who knew someone and managed to get them to bend the rules this one time. Well ok, this two times...because the dog also needs to fly back with me. Unfortunately in order to get her up north for christmas she had to fly up 2 days earlier than me. So she's been loafing at grandma and grandpa's place for a couple days - chilling with their dog and sometimes chasing squirrels on their giant deck. Ah good times. Can't wait to get there tonight and get my yearly fat lip from my parents' dog (The Stick). The Stick is a huge dog (100 lbs) but the nicest most gentle dog ever - except when she's excited... and oh she gets excited when I come home. Every year, either in the truck on the way from the airport or right when we get in the door, I go to pet and hug and scrub The Stick and put my face down at her face level. Always, (even when I'm expecting it, and try to avoid her head) in her massive wriggly overexcited state she ends up head butting me - in the lip. EVERY YEAR. Bring on the love.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

People are idiots.

This is a pissed off blog for a friend. I'm not actually pissed off, but I would be had it happend to me...
My friend - let's call her "Larry" - as that was what we used to call each other in high school lo those many years ago. This was a dis originally, based on this poor guy Larry (the original Larry) who did stupid things. Anyway, Larry (my friend, not the original Larry) is getting married in April and has invited her whole family to join her and her hubby-to-be in the ceremony which is to be in the Dominican Republic. 20 people have confirmed and paid their money... One of her brother-in-laws (sister's husband) has raised a stink about the malaria scare going on there right now and has actually ASKED if she minds if he tries to get the travel agent and marriage package people to change the VENUE TO CUBA!!! He actually wants to change the venue to ANOTHER COUNTRY - for 20+ people! Seriously. What's up with selfcentered people?

Ewwwww...

So the in-laws and J's sister are staying with us right now. I've really lucked out as they are lovely people, but it's quite a few people to have in our tiny little house. We have exactly 2 bedrooms - one being ours. So J's parents are put in the spare room on the main floor and his sister is staying in our room and we have moved to the basement on a giant air mattress. We are nearly too old to sleep on the floor. Can't believe I'm saying that, but there you go - we are officially getting old. I remember the good old days when you could go to a sleepover and actually sleep in a sleeping bag ON THE FLOOR, but now even that giant queen sized airbed is not comfy. If you lean on an elbow it'll sink to the floor but if you both lie on the bed, it's ok - as long as no one moves... This time we were going to try the airbed WITH our old 1 1/2 inch foam car-camping mattress from the tent.

First I had to find the air mattress... well not so much find it as get to it. In the cleaning frenzy to get the house semi-presentable for the parents, J stashed all extra stuff in the storage room downstairs. Now this room could be a bedroom in future years, it's big enough (only barely)... but it's used as a storage room due to the smallness of our house and lack of storage space. So now it's crammed to the ceiling with... stuff. We are talking crafting stuff, old books, bins of camping gear, climbing gear, skis, snowboards, giant stand up fans, dog kennels...just pantloads of STUFF. Of course in his haste to get stuff put away, J just piled the stuff in with no regard for what lay behind the new stuff. As a result (and to no surprise to me), the air mattress was at the back, behind all the other piles. So as I moved a few things and did the awkward step over stuff, nearly knocking over an old computer monitor in the process, I did this weird stretch and grab for the air mattress. It was quite a reach and somehow (still not very sure how) my leg had to kick out behind me to counterbalance my outstretched arm, and in the process I knocked some bag off a box and onto the floor. I really didn't think much of it until I had to get out of the tunnel of stuff I had burrowed into. Of course the bag (white plastic grocery bag) had fallen right at the opening of my tunnel. So as I stepped out with the air mattress (and making a weird tweaking feeling in my shoulder) I stepped over a box and right onto the bag. Whoops. The bag made a cracking noise and then under my slipper I felt a squooshy feel. Ewwww. That wasn't right. Immediately the room filled with a horrifying smell. Huck, huck, hucka... Dumping the mattress I went to see about the smell and the squoosh feeling... Here's a little note to the furnace guys who came to install our new furnace nearly 2 weeks ago:

TAKE YOUR FUCKING CHINESE FOOD LUNCH LEFTOVERS WITH YOU NEXT TIME!

Friday, December 10, 2004

Merry Christmas to me...

Ahhh heat... often overrated some might say. Well I wouldn't. Our furnace is old for furnace years... like 40. Could that be possible? When we bought the house, the inspector said that the furnace is really old and will need to be replaced soon. Technically we are lucky it lasted these past 2 years but now, my friends, it is pretty much on life support. And tomorrow we pull the plug. J (the husband) has taken to wearing long johns in the basement while building a window for the bathroom, I wear my scarf in the house all the time, and I won't even go into the number of hot water bottles and hot rice bags I sleep with at night. This past week it's been fairly cold (now by cold, I mean just basic damp Vancouver cold - so about +7 Celsius or so in the day -not THAT cold), and the house has been way too cold to be comfortable. I even thought about taking the dog to work with me so she wouldn't be freezing her ass off in the day. The dog is now welcome not just ON the bed, but UNDER the covers, especially before J comes to bed as she snuggles in and keeps me warm. I can't wait for the furnace guys to come and rescue us tomorrow. And they had BETTER show up.

So J and I are giving each other the most romantic of gifts this Christmas - ½ of a brand new furnace each! Can you feel the love?

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity

I'll start off by saying that I have very good teeth. Not to brag but....ok, yes, I'll brag... I love my teeth. I was lucky to have happened upon such straight white teeth. My sister was always bitter as she was the one with the braces and glasses as a kid and I had neither of those. I'll do another post about how my dad just got braces at 62, later. So whenever I go to a new dentist they always ooooh and ahhhh about my straight "perfect" teeth and ask if I had braces. They have even called in dental hygenists from another room to have a look at my "textbook teeth". I have no fillings and have never had a problem with any of my adult teeth (the baby teeth were another story... all stained orange from the Tang...).

So yesterday it was my regular cleaning appointment at the dentist. The usual happened, the scaling, the flossing, the polishing, the swishing of weird berry flavoured poison that you are NOT allowed to swallow.... and then the dentist came in to have a quick check. She started pushing hard on my teeth with that small ice pick and then... and then...it happened. One of my lower molars she was poking in was a bit... er... soft. There was that moment of "what the hell?" and then I saw her give a furtive glance to the hygienist. Nooooo not the furtive knowing glance! Then she says something about A4 or A7 or something along that line, and I say "whouoiu eggk eu?" as the tools were still in my mouth. Then I'm not proud of it, but I acted like a 5 year old. I actually felt tears welling way back in my eyes as the realization hit me. It's A CAVITY. The dentist confirms that it is, in fact, a c..a..v..i..t..y. Sweet hayzoos, the apocolypse is upon us. She quickly tries to smooth it over telling me that on a scale of 1-10 it's a -2. Uh hun, riiiight, a -2 only because it's not in HER mouth. Apparently a small cavity - but frankly, a cavity nonetheless. Of course, not wanting it to be true, I say "are you SURE?" like she would just be fucking with me about something as devastating as an actual cavity...

The reality of it sets in- no more chewing tin foil for a party trick. Dammit, that was one of my best...

So on Wednesday I go back to get my. very. first. adult. filling. Sure am looking forward to that drilling noise I always hear in the other rooms at the dentist office. I bet it's much louder when it's in YOUR mouth.

Oh the slippery slope… I'm getting old. I'm on the downslope. I fear I should get my meat eating in now, you never know how long those teeth will last...

Friday, December 03, 2004

Go ON, George... you are TOO funny.

That George Bush, go onnnnn. Man he's something special all right... or more likely a special piece of something.

http://www.organicconsumers.org/epa-alert.htm

I can summarize for you if you are too lazy to actually click on the link -

Basically a bunch of people led by Bush called The Environmental Protection Agency (which makes them sound like they are actually there to protect people, bit of a misnomer perhaps?) have proposed a study where they give a bunch of chemicals (ingested, inhaled or absorbed) to babies from 0 - 3 yrs old and wait to see if horns grow out of their heads or watch as the boils explode in impressive volcanic fashion from their faces and worse I'm sure. So they'll bribe the low income families with $970 (woo, that's US money too - almost enough for one round of medicine when the future "effects" kick in), a free video camera, a t-shirt, and a framed certificate of appreciation!!! I mean it's a great gig for the poor families as they get this cash, and then the video camera to tape the way their kids USED to be, before the toxins kicked in, and not ot mention the t-shirt - to alert others to the fact that "THIS KID IS TOXIC - KEEP BACK 10 FEET". And well, the framed certificate. Framed! Wow, it'll likely be the only framed certificate in these low-income families trailers - how proud they'll be.

Apparently the American Chemistry Council already knows that these toxins are harmful and have long term effects - but by doing their study for only 2 years they avoid any long term illnesses and can put that "no effects were discovered" in their report. Ya, until the kid has that extra arm when he's 10.

So anyway, what i'm trying to say is "where do i sign up?" I mean hey $970 US - that's like $1,154.20 Canadian! Hello downpayment for my new furnace.... And i could use a video camera - think of the porn I could tape... I'd better get on that baby thing.