I am a married woman in her 30s... how awful does that sound - ok, how about... I am a sarcastic 32 year old married woman with a bun in the oven. I have a fantastic dog who has an evil pet cat. My husband and I bought a house 2 years ago and have been doing major renovations since then.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Get well soon mum

27 weeks +6 days

For about a month and a half my mother has been having diarrhea every time she eats. She's had more tests than I'd like to know about to see what's going on. Finally they have figured out that she has E. coli! So she was on these anti-biotics before they finally figured it out and they were not agreeing with her. Once they got the E. coli diagnosis she was put on other anti-biotics (and she still had to finish the first lot). We were all relieved that at least they knew what it was now and she just had to be treated and it would go away.

Last night my dad called me. As soon as I answered I wondered what was up as my mum usually calls and dad is on the other line. This was a call with just dad. He said that my mum is in the hospital and would likely be in there for 6 days. She had blood in her stool and the dr. admitted her immediately. They are doing 3 days of tests etc and then likely 3 more days of more tests. She was apparently devastated because J and I are flying up there on Friday and we are staying for a week and she'll be in the hospital. There is a slim chance that she can stay in for the first 3 days and then maybe her dr. might let her go home and do the tests herself (or come in for quickie tests for the next 3 days) so she can be home and max out her time with us. I called her at the hospital yesterday and she had a bit of a breakdown. She was so disappointed that she'll be stuck in the hospital when we get there. She cried a bit on the phone - I can't remember the last time I've seen my mum cry so it was terrible. My poor mum. I told her that I was just going up there to loaf and play cards with her anyway and we could play cards in her hospital room just as we could play cards in her living room so it would all be fine. It's too bad that the hospital is a half hour drive from their house (highway driving) so it's a bit of a trek to get there - no nipping in and out of the house and the hospital. I hope for her sake that they'll let her go home on the Saturday so she won't miss much of our time there.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Carrying "all over"

27 weeks + 5 days

So last night we went to J's brothers place for dinner - and well, I was just there to collect the crib. It was J's neice's birthday so we could hardly skip it. I expected very bad things from the evil sister-in-law based on past experience (ie - the fighting to keep my shirt down when she tried to pull it up at 4 months to "look at my belly"). It wasn't as bad as I had expected -and mostly we came home with the crib - and that's just a huge cost savings. The only comment that I particularly loved was when I walked in the door and the SIL is speculating with her mother as to what I'm having based on how I'm carrying. Now let me say this - I look exactly the same as I always have - from the back. I'm alllll out front - ALLL out front. She says "it's hard to say if you are carrying ALL OVER or just out front". Umhmmm. Then they speculate on a boy or girl - each thinking a different sex and she says "what do you think you are having" and I say (all proud because we've known for months and even her husband knows and obviously didn't tell her...) - "I KNOW we are having a boy". Then of course the husband gets shit for not telling her - har. Then she asks about baby names... riiight, like I'd tell her. And once I tell her that we are still unsure and we'll pick it on the day - she starts in with the - "how about..." - then she suggests Ian George.... (Ian - my dad's first name that he doesn't go by, and George - J's dad's name). I just say "no". And I mentally moved on. It was great - I just snubbed her and got the fuck out of dodge. I stayed at more than arms length from her at all times lest she molest my belly, and if she got too close - I immediately bent down and loved up the dog a bit. She must have asked about 5 or 6 times if the baby was moving right now and could she feel it - but I just maintained my "no, he's sleeping right now - he's usually awake in the afternoon and in the middle of the night". ANNNND.... still no. Then I hoped that Fetus wouldn't make any obvious movements that would either make me jump or enable her to see the rolling alien body poking out at odd angles from my belly. I avoided it all night - so proud - not a single molestation - that's a good night.

Turns out they convinced/forced J's parents to come out in October to see the baby!!!!! They are already coming out in August and then at Christmas. They are in their 80s and travelling that long will be very tiring for them. I can't believe they were guilted into feeling they had to come in October to see a 2 week old as well - not to mention, I'd really rather they waited till Christmas to come back and see the baby. ARG. My mum (and maybe my dad) will be here then so they either stay with my sister or J's parents stay with his brother. Since I just found out that J's brother and Evil SIL forced them to come, well I don't feel bad about forcing them to stay with J's brother while my mother comes and helps me with the baby. I do love J's parents to death but they are pretty old and are not as comfortable to whip a boob out in front of, than my own mother and until I get this breastfeeding down, I'd rather not have staying visitors.

Also J's brother and SIL want us to come to their cabin in Aug when J's parents come for their first visit this year, along with his sister. Now they will be staying with us the weekend before they want us to go up there - but it's a ferry ride away - nearly an hour ferry ride - plus at least 45 min on each side - and ferry wait time - assuming you can just pick an ferry and make it on - and not miss one. Oh, did I mention that I will be 37 weeks by then...and probably won't want to be that far away from my doctor right then. I realize that labour will take hours but I don't need the added stress of being at least 3 hours away from home if it started that weekend - not for the first kid anyway!! I told them we'll see how I feel. I'm already feeling that the stress of being with Evil SIL all weekend would likely bring on labour - so maybe we'll go if I'm done with being prego - or perhaps opt for a nice relaxing weekend at home.

Monday, June 20, 2005

the heart monitor affair...

today - 27 weeks +4 days.

Last week I had the worst experience ever related to clinics etc. Yup, worse than that time I thought I was pregnant when in university...

I have a heart arrhythmia which means that the doctor wanted to put me on a 24 hour heart monitor (a Holter Monitor) so check what's going on. She said it was just to get a baseline so when I go into labour and my heart beats funny, no nurse will freak out as we already know about the arrhythmia.

I was to go to the clinic at 11:00 am to be fitted with the monitor. At 11:50 they finally were ready for me. I went in and there was a horrible bear of a woman at the clinic – she asked the younger girl if she had been trained to put the monitors on. The girl said she had done 3 before – so she was entrusted to put the suckers on me. I was told to wear a button up shirt and a non-underwire bra – so I thought I would open my shirt and she’d stick a couple of stickers on and that’d be it. Um no. The girl was pretty nice but she couldn’t figure out how to put the battery in the thing so I was worried that she wouldn’t set it up correctly. I was told to take off my shirt and bra – she swabbed me with alcohol and then actually scraped my skin with SANDPAPER!!! OUCH – and then she stuck 5 different suckers on me – including one under each breast and put a TON of tape all over me – which was grabbing the skin etc. The conductors felt like they were burning and stinging (probably the gel on my now scraped skin) – which she said would go away in a while. She put this mesh band thing on me (which looked like those outfits that pear-apples wear in the grocery store) – which was polyester and very hot and itchy – I think this was just to keep the wires from getting all over the place. I was not to shower or anything and to write down EVERYTHING I did –including getting up to pee etc. She said I couldn’t put my bra on (don’t know why) and that I was not to sweat – lest the suckers come off. The mesh outfit was so hot I was sweating just sitting there – then I was to go back to work with no bra on and this giant battery pack attached to my waist that my shirt wouldn’t cover – not to mention the one conductor up by my neck that my shirt wasn’t quite high enough to cover. I felt like a freak. AND the things were still burning. After a short time at work I decided to go home and strip down so I wouldn’t sweat at least. It was ok but still hot in my tank top at home and very uncomfortable to lie down due to the ones between my breasts etc. (more than you need to know, I’m sure). Eventually I decided it was ridiculous to wear the mesh if it was so hot and just holding the wires in. I changed into cotton tight tank top that did the same thing but was so much more comfy. Sleep was very crappy as I had to ensure I didn’t lose the battery pack over the edge of the bed so I had to wear it on my waist and try to turn over etc while not pulling any wires out or catching them on my numerous pillows – nightmare. Luckily I told my boss that I wouldn’t be coming back to work until today after I got rid of the thing so I didn’t even set the alarm (J was getting up late for work too). The itch continued as did the painful pulling of the tape. The woman told me to come back at about 11:30 or 11;45 today to have it removed- so at 11:20 I was at the clinic ready to get rid of it-EARLY. Unfortunately as soon as I walked in (quite early I had thought) – the evil bear woman was ushering me into a room telling me that didn’t I know I was to come back at 10 am etc etc. It was to be a 24 hour monitor that was supposed to be put on yesterday at 11 but of course it wasn’t put on till 11:50 so 10 today would not have been close to 24 hours! I told the Bear that the other lady said to come back between 11:30 and 11:45 and she continued to act as if it was my fault. Then she brings me into the room and closes the door ½ way and tells me to take off my shirt. NICE. I was mostly mad at myself for letting her push me around and not standing up for myself but it was all so overwhelming. I ended up trying to sit far back on the bed (out of view of the door and she got all mad that I wasn’t wearing the mesh shirt – just my tight cotton tank top underneath. I told her it was hot and itchy and she clearly didn’t care. Then she started ripping off the tape. I said that it really hurt and would she like me to do it? NO apparently she enjoyed the inflicting of pain on people who are stressed out to begin with. It was brutal – and there was so much tape – she even commented on how much tape the girl had put on – but as if it was my fault somehow. She ripped it all off – WITH skin. What a bitch. I hated her. I left there all red and in pain and cried all the way to work. I can’t believe they have people like her working with patients – it was so much worse than it needed to be. I felt especially useless and worried that I'll get snowed into something when in delivery because I'm clearly a wuss and can't stand up to medical personelle.

When I told J what had happened later that night, with fresh tears for effect - I expected him to do his usual - ah well, it's over now... but no. Surprisingly he got all huffy on my behalf. I LOVED it. In his job now he does tense negotiations and meetings all day with assholes and is getting much better at being the controlled freakout-er. He got the name of the clinic and was going to call and find that woman and then talk to her and then her boss the next day. My hero. A message has now been left with the complaints people and they are instructed to call J back asap. I'll be interested to hear if they do.

I've been told to not have chocolate or iced tea, or coffee etc due to the caffeine - which may aggrevate the arrhythmia. On friday I had both iced tea and a blizzard - WITH chocolate - just to prove to those medical people that I could stand up to them if I wanted.... and I really just wanted a blizzard.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Mmmm muffins

I need to learn that it is not necessarily healthier to have something that is labeled a "muffin" than a giant piece of cake for breakfast.

I am eating a caramel cake in the shape of a muffin... this can't be good for me.

But oh, delicious soft warm goodness....

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

So sad about the chocolate

26 weeks +5 days

Well we went to the dr. yesterday and all is well with Fetus- measures 27 cm and has a heart rate of 148bpm. Me, on the other hand... well apparently I have an arrhythmia - my heart is skipping beats. I've felt it recently - a racing heart feel or an extra loud heartbeat, if you will. So now I have to cut out caffeine. I don't drink coffee, and rarely tea with caffeine... but I do have iced tea (Liptons...mmm) and ....dun, dun, dun... chocolate. No more chocolate for me. boo. A whole lotta BOO on that. I am going tomorrow to get a Holter Monitor - which is a heart monitor that uses those sucker things on your chest and then I have to walk around with this little battery pack thing for 24 hours. No showering either... mmm, come and sit close to me... So I go at 11am tomorrow to have the suckers "professionally" placed on me, then I go back to work and write down everything that happens in my day - when I eat, when I walk etc. Also they do want to induce the arrhythmia while the monitor is on me so I AM allowed chocolate tomorrow... hello mint aero my old friend...

Also I am at very low risk for gestational diabetes and so my dr. said I could opt out of that blood test if I liked - and oh, yes, I like. She said that we could always do it later if something comes up. They have a high rate of false positives and then it's a whole 3 hour tour at the clinic with lots of needles so, um, no please. Of course, due to the heart thing, I have to have more blood letting to test my thyroid again etc in case it's something to do with that..? Who knows.

Tomorrow is meet the dr. night so I'll get to go and see the other dr.s who might deliver Fetus. That way we can try hard to go into labour on a specific day to avoid any bad doctors that we don't like.... If only.

Monday, June 06, 2005

hiatus and the medulla oblongatta

25 weeks +4 days

It's been a long time since I've posted. My appologies. J and I went to Monterey and to San Francisco for a week and then I was sick when I got back. I'm currently still fighting a cough which now rattles and wakes me up in the night... and makes me involuntarily pee sometimes. Nice. Love that.

So this weekend we interviewed 2 potential doulas. Now I was soooo not on board with a doula due to the fact that they are expensive - like $800 not covered by insurance... but, my dr. seems to think they are a great idea so we looked into it. Apparently having a doula reduces the incidence of c-sections by 50% and less tearing, and less epideurals and other drugs needed. As J said "would you pay $800 NOT to have a c-section?"... I suppose - but mostly, I would pay $800 to not have tearing... ouchy... I know, I know. Like THAT makes any sense - like healing from a tear is somehow less than healing from major surgery where they slice open your stomach muscles... I'm pregnant, and therefore I'm allowed to be irrational. Get over it.

So the one doula, while nice, was a bit too holistic for my liking. She also talked about breastfeeding for at least 3 years. Um. No. Fine for others - not for me. I'll be definitely stopping bf before the one year mark - likely around the 10 month mark - but we'll see how it goes. So she was also wearing super high heels and appeared a bit flustered and told us about how last night the birth she attended they nearly called the ambulance to get the woman to the hospital. Not exactly what I wanted to hear. The high heels made her need to hold on to J's arm to get down our front steps. Just saying. Not that there is anything really wrong with that, but she was just a bit too frail somehow to be my "rock" during the labour.

The other doula... well I loved her. J seemed to like her too and we'll likely go with her. She also coincidentally lives 6 blocks away so I feel good that she can get to me in a hurry if I want her there. We will be checking some references tonight and then we'll likely hire her tomorrow. Let's be honest, it's a done deal. J wants to get references as it's in his nature - but I already got her name through a guy at work who worked with her during his wife's labour. I'm sold. And she was funny, and she was relaxed and she wore some sort of casual sandal. Yes, I liked her.

She said we should still go to birthing classes but not the hospital onces as those are a bit of a waste of time (which is what I'd heard). Dammit - now we have to shell out another couple hundred for a weekend of birthing classes - and these ones that she suggested will be a bit more "natural" I would expect. She did make me feel in just our 1/2 hour intro meeting that I can likely give birth to this baby without an epideural - which I would like - as I'm not fond of the "needle in the back" idea. Yessiree, I think I like her. She also is a lactation consultant so I might skip the breastfeeding classes I had originally thought of going to - which would be good as I'm not one for baring my boobs in a room full of people.

I'll let you know how the hiring of the doula goes...